Careers at Mammon Holdings

Build a career that goes all the way to the top.

Nine floors. One vision. Everyone makes the trip up eventually, and at Mammon Holdings, you'll fit right in.

See open roles Meet our people
Three smiling colleagues in business attire around a laptop at a glossy meeting table, beside a mug that reads World's Best Boss. Only the older woman has small curved horns, but the man's shadow on the wall has horns too, and a third hand of his rests on the back of her chair. Through the window two distant helicopters trade fire, and a wastebasket in the background is quietly on fire

About us

About Mammon Holdings

Our mission: to acquire, to hold, and never, under any circumstances, to come down to the lobby. We are a vertically integrated organization. Everything starts on Floor 1, and everything comes up eventually.

  • The customer makes the effort

    Our leadership is never too important to receive a visitor. Our leadership is simply too important to come downstairs.

  • Presence

    Overtime is mandatory here. And eternal. But the dental? Unreal.

  • Growth

    We grow our people. Ask anyone in Accounts.

  • Retention

    Industry-leading. Nobody has ever left. The front door locks behind every guest, for their comfort. It does that. For guests.

  • 9floors of opportunity
  • 1elevator (resting)
  • 0staff departures, ever
  • 24/7/∞hours of operation

Careers

Open roles

We're hiring across the tower. Every role is on-site. Every role is permanent. Very permanent.

4 open roles · 4 floors · 0 remote

A smiling floor manager with a clipboard in a cubicle office. In the background a small green goblin peeks over a cubicle wall, and a chair is quietly on fire

Floor Manager

  • Cubicle Farm · Floor 2
  • Operations
  • Full-time (eternal)

About the role

Nobody reaches the next floor without first sitting down with the one running this one. Company policy. Very strict, very final. Our Cubicle Farm Floor Manager has held the role a long time and fully intends to keep it, in one form or another. You'll be his backfill. He'll be training you.

What you'll do

  • Lead a fast, high-energy team of Cubicle Goblins. They work as a swarm. You'll learn to love it.
  • Greet every visitor personally. Our current Floor Manager is a hugger.
  • Deliver feedback with heavy office supplies, from range.
  • Stay calm under pressure. One Territory Tantrum per quarter is budgeted.
  • Bring 5+ years of middle-management experience, or one pizza delivery that went wrong.

Benefits: corner cubicle, dental (unreal), and a title that outlives you.

Apply now
A friendly HR interview across a tidy desk. The HR manager's shadow on the wall has three heads, and a dark feathered wing pokes out from behind a filing cabinet

Compliance Officer

  • HR · Floor 4
  • Human Resources
  • Full-time (eternal)

About the role

On Floor 4, paperwork is load-bearing. As a Compliance Officer you'll make sure every visitor carries the correct documentation, and that nobody ever finds out what the correct documentation is.

What you'll do

  • Move slowly. Stand in doorways. Demand documentation.
  • Lift and carry paperwork. It is physically heavy here. Lift with your legs.
  • Keep the mandatory training videos playing on every screen, at all times.
  • Keep Records Retention off the floor plan. We do not have a Records Retention room.
  • Report to the Head of HR. All three heads will interview you.

Benefits: a laminated badge, a lanyard, and the authority to stop anyone for any reason.

Apply now
Four executives toast with champagne in a luxury lounge. Look closely: the trophy mounted on the wall is Cthulhu's head, a face-bound book sits on the mantel, a filing-cabinet drawer burns among the logs, a knife handle sticks up behind one smiling executive's shoulder, and his colleague's reflection in the table has horns

Chief Fiend Officer (CFO)

  • Executive Lounge · Floor 7
  • Finance
  • Executive · Confidential

About the role

A confidential succession search. Our current Chief Fiend Officer is not leaving and has not been told about this search. Please be discreet. The Executive Lounge has panoramic windows, and everything up here is expensive and watching.

What you'll do

  • Sign off on everything with the golden pen. Nothing is signed with anything else.
  • Turn profit into projectiles, and projectiles into profit.
  • Direct a team of Director Demons and Assistant Imps from a leather chair.
  • Pour scotch from a decanter. Look unimpressed while doing it.
  • Thick skin required. Candidates who are weak to direct disrespect need not apply. (This is why we are searching.)

Benefits: gold everything, and a reserved parking space right by the front door (the door does not open).

Apply now
An executive assistant smiles at a reception desk stacked with pizza boxes. Behind the frosted doors stands a huge horned silhouette with red eyes

Executive Assistant to Mr. Mammon (after 6 PM)

  • Mammon's Office · Floor 9
  • Office of Mr. Mammon
  • Evenings · Forever

About the role

Mr. Mammon works late. His Executive Assistant leaves at 6 PM, sharp. We need someone for the hours after that, which are the hours when he gets hungry.

What you'll do

  • Place the ninth floor's evening food order. Pizza, usually.
  • Make sure the order arrives hot. This is the whole job.
  • Keep the “World's Best Boss” mug clean, full and facing outward.
  • Never go down to the lobby. Mr. Mammon never comes down. Why would he? Everything comes up eventually.
  • The phone will ring. Always answer it.

Benefits: dinner. Eventually. (Ask about our delivery times.)

Apply now

Benefits

Benefits & Perks

Everything you need, under one roof, so you never need to leave it.

A smiling dentist and a relaxed patient in a bright company dental clinic. The X-ray on the lightbox shows a jaw with far too many teeth.

Our most popular benefit

Dental

Full cover from your first day, at our own on-site clinic, open around the clock. We have never lost a patient, and we have kept every tooth.

  • Unlimited PTO

    Take as much paid time off as you like. In the history of the company, nobody ever has, which says a lot about the culture.

  • Retirement plan

    Fully vested from day one, with no retirement age. Nobody here has ever retired, or needed to.

  • Health cover

    Comprehensive, worldwide cover. Excludes anything that happens on company premises, including the paperwork and the coffee.

  • Free lunch

    A hot lunch every day in the Floor 3 Cafeteria, for everyone on the approved list. The donuts come to you.

  • Staff discount

    Staff pricing at the shop on every floor, where the same associate is somehow always already there. Imp prices. No refunds. Please don't hit him.

  • Wellness check-ins

    Regular one-on-ones with the Head of HR. Technically a one-on-three. Please bring your completed incident report.

Our people

Meet the team

Staff group photo in business attire in front of a frosted glass wall. Two of the staff have small horns, one accountant has three arms, and a small red imp in a retail vest stands off to one side. A ceiling tile is missing, a wastebasket burns behind the glass next to a forklift, and an eye looks out from the potted plant

The Mammon Holdings team at this year's offsite. The offsite was held on site. All offsites are held on site.

Culture

Life at Mammon Holdings

We work hard, and we always make time for each other. There is plenty of time.

Colleagues laughing over lunch in the break room. Behind them the microwave is on fire, glowing eyes look out of the fridge, and one man holds his lunch with three hands
Lunch in the Floor 3 break room. Please label your food.
A rooftop team-building trust fall on a sunny day. A distant helicopter trails smoke, and a forklift stands alone at the edge of the roof
Quarterly team-building on the roof terrace. Nobody has ever been dropped.

What Our People Say (Unfiltered)

Honest reviews from current and former staff.

3.0

Average of 5 reviews · 100% would recommend to a friend (mandatory field)

“Mandatory pizza-delivery combat drills. No PTO, ever.”

Former Employee · Cubicle Goblin, Cubicle Farm (Floor 2) · Tenure: until Tuesday

Pros
Open-plan office. Great team energy. We do everything as a swarm.
Cons
Pizza-delivery combat drills every single night, and no PTO, ever. Then one night it wasn't a drill.
Advice to management
Maybe just let the pizza guy through?

“A truly wonderful place to work, and I am writing this of my own free will.”

Current Employee · Assistant Imp, Executive Lounge (Floor 7)

Pros
Leadership. Vision. Leadership's vision. The mug says it best.
Cons
None whatsoever.
Advice to management
Keep doing exactly what you're doing, sir. I can see you reading this.

This review was completed by Management on the employee's behalf.

“Real room to grow.”

Current Employee · Accounts (floor not on the directory)

Pros
I started with two arms. I now have three. Productivity is up fifty percent, and everyone is just thrilled for me.
Cons
Sleeves.
Advice to management
A sleeve allowance would be nice.

“Came in to drop off an order. Stayed.”

Current Employee · Middle Management (formerly Delivery) · Tenure: hard to say, time is funny in this building

Pros
Very stable. Nobody leaves. Try the coffee on Floor 3, exactly once.
Cons
The order was cold by the time I got it upstairs. I have been here ever since.
Advice to management
Tip your delivery drivers.

“Nine years, and nobody will sign my transfer.”

Current Employee · Forklift, Records Retention (officially Floor 1)

Pros
Fully certified. Recertified, actually.
Cons
As far as Facilities is concerned, I'm still on Floor 1. I have not been on Floor 1 in nine years. Some days I have a supervisor. Some days I don't.
Advice to management
Sign the paperwork.

Application received

Thanks for applying. Nobody will be in touch.

Mammon Holdings isn't hiring, because Mammon Holdings isn't real. It's the tower in CRUST, a hardcore roguelike. Greg, a pizza delivery guy who takes the job far too seriously, fights his way up nine floors of corporate Hell to deliver one pizza to the demon who ordered it. He's on the top floor. He's working late, and he is far too petty to come down to the lobby.

CRUST key art: Greg the pizza guy, delivery box on his back, firing a pistol through a wrecked office at a giant fly
“Welcome to Mammon Holdings. He's been expecting his order.” The Receptionist, Floor 1, in CRUST

Nine floors of Mammon Tower, each with its own theme and its own boss.

On Android, out now

Built for one thumb. The first four floors are free to play, for good. The one purchase opens the other five. No ads. No timers.

Get it on Google Play

iOS isn't out yet.

Made by a one-person studio, Dotmix Games. More about CRUST at dotmixgames.com